Another 2015 please…
So… 2016. What do you hold?
I'm not going to lie. 2014 was a tough year on all fronts, but I loved almost every minute of 2015, so 2016 has some tough competition. I would like to order another year like 2015, please. It was a bittersweet year in some respects – saying goodbye to my nan, after a long, long drawn-out battle with alzheimer's and the return of her breast cancer, but in a way, saying goodbye was a relief. Alzheimer's is brutal. I lost my nan a long time ago, and the body that remained is no longer in pain, no longer devouring itself from the inside out, until all that remains is… something she would never have wanted to be. Nan's at peace now.
Missing you, Nan
It's weird to admit, but her funeral was both a terrible, and a wonderful day. One of the hardest aspects of dealing with this loss, is that I was having trouble remembering who nan was as a person, not who she became with her disease. I was racking my brain for memories of her, but all I could come up with were those from recent times; the look on her face when I was like, “Nan, you can't put the pumpkin in the microwave for 40 mins, because it will explode”, and she was still there enough to realise that she'd slipped up again, and the Alzheimer's was slowly winning; watching her struggle to put a sentence together because she was losing track of what she was trying to say, and finally dwindling to a halt; the dull look in her eyes when you walk through the door, because she doesn't know you anymore. Those memories all hurt. The funeral made me cry, but it also made me laugh, because there were so many stories of her from other people, and it was like the dam broke inside me, and she came back to me. My nan who loved sunday sippers, and enjoyed a ‘brandy and dry', Nan's laugh, the way she'd say ‘Leo!' (my Pa's name – it actually took me two books to realise what I'd named Leo Barrons, because Pa was always Pa to me, and never Leo), the way she would take in random strangers from her small home town and feed them or give them a bed, just because that's who she was, her delicious roast potatoes which were almost deep-fried, the way she would hug you as a kid, and you would sink into her, because she was round and tiny, and she loved her grandchildren more than anything in the world… So it was nice to get that back, just a little.
My health was good, after the fugue of 2014 (you may have picked up that I hated 2014 with a passion (: ), and I wrote more last year than I've ever written before – partly because you don't realise what you've got until its gone, like words, energy, not living in a cloud of exhaustion all the time, and I think I threw myself into every story with a renewed love for the worlds, for the words, than I'd ever felt before, when I finally could. I stopped being as hard on myself too. I like to achieve. I am goal-orientated, competitive with myself, and driven, and being so sick forced me to recognise that sometimes you just can't. Can't anything. And that's okay, because one day when you're well again, you'll meet those targets, hit those goals, but if you don't that's okay too.
My baby sister lived with us for a while, and while I love her to bits, 2015 was the year where she got her own place, got a job, started working her butt off, and I love watching her confidence bloom from that. She also got a kitten, and I get to baby-sit sometimes. It's been a turbulent 5 years in my family, and I hate watching the people that I love going through some rough times, so it's nice to see everyone happy and healthy, and finding themselves. There were a lot of girls' trips with my mum, and my sisters, and I spent 7 weeks travelling with my brother, which was really nice, as they're a bit younger than me, and moved away in their teens, so it was lovely to get to know him as an adult more.
Beta Hero and I bought a block of land. It's a little bit of a dream for us, and one day we hope to build there. We want to be off-grid, and plant fruit trees and run sheep, so that we can eat a lot more of our own food, which is a minor obsession we share. It's perfect, and private, and the view is amazing. I still can't believe its ours.
New digs… in greener times, because Australia is a dry, barren dust hole right now
And I travelled. I spent time in Costa Rica rappelling down waterfalls with my brother, crawling through caves, and trekking volcanoes. Mum joined us in Mexico, for the trip through Guatemala and Belize, and then it was on to New York for the RWA Conference, where I'd been nominated for a RITA (a dream come true for me, and a little bit of validation about my writing). London Steampunk Series 1 came to an end with Of Silk And Steam (which may be my favourite book, but shhh! Don't tell Blade), which received a Top Pick from RT Reviews, and is up for their Best Steampunk Romance of 2015 (along with some other really awesome steam punks). We sold French Rights to the London Steampunk series, so it's lovely to see it expanding to other countries.
I read some amazing books. I dreamed. I created. I baked. I ate more doughnuts and cake than was good for me, but thought fuck it, because one day when the PSC deteriorates I won't be able to eat anything (no gluten, no sugar, no fat, no… taste basically), so I will enjoy it while I can. Life is too short to not enjoy doughnuts. I ran, and played netball, and hiked mountains, and water skied. Life was good.
So what does 2016 hold?
More book releases – I'm really excited about this, as I have two new series' to show the world – and the first book in the second London Steampunk arc to play with. There will be a schedule up sometime soon. I also have a new cover, which should be going out in my newsletter any day now (or maybe a week). I just got back from Bali, so the house looks like Christmas hit it with a vengeance, and there is so much organisational stuff to do this week. So much.
Bali with the Beta Hero
I love New Year's. It always feels like a fresh start, and I love making resolutions and goals for the year. I know, I know, I should do it all year, but I find life gets busy, things happen, goals fall by the wayside… So New Year's is basically a chance to dust off, reassess and clear the cobwebs.
This year's resolution is about exploring another avenue I used to spend hours on: drawing. I haven't drawn for years. The writing thing kind of took off, but I'm determined to give some time back to art. I'm already playing with a map of a fantasy-world I'm dabbling in writing-wise.
Fitness and health goals are always something I do too. Chronic illness sucks ass, and the fitter and healthier I am, the better I feel, so it's always a work in progress. I'm aiming to play more with my gluten free recipes this year, to work out how to create with gluten-free.
And I'm planning… more books, more series', more travel. Hoping to attend San Diego in July, but… we shall see. I'm an author. That means I have learned to be frugal with a dollar, and I'm not quite sure the budget stretches that far. Yet.
So here's to 2016. I hope it's a good year for everyone else too.
